National Award-winning playback singer Anuradha Paudwal, who recently gave a mesmerizing performance at the Pran Pratistha ceremony in Ayodhya, has had a very interesting journey, both professionally and personally. 4 time Filmfare Award winner, this singer talked about the closed chapters in her life, her devotional music journey, and many more in this exclusive interview with Lehren Retro.
Anuradha ji, Namaskar. And I should say Jai Shri Ram because you’ve just come back from the Ram Mandir. So what was it like?
Wow. It was an ethereal experience just simply out of this world. And, it is absolutely fascinating when, I think that, you know, that a struggle which has been going on for more than 500 years, should culminate and we should be a witness to it. And more than a witness, I’m just really, really superlatively blessed that I and my daughter could have got a chance to sing at the Pran Pratishtha. I mean when I think of how many crores of people there are who sing in India and that we should be invited to sing, you know, especially on that day, it was absolutely an experience that you can’t forget.
Was it for you personally a very uplifting moment?
Absolutely, and there is a reason for that. Because 20 years back when the murti was behind like it was kept behind bars and tied with chains so that it shouldn’t be stolen and it was in a tent. I was not aware of that. And when, I had a program there, Ramlila program. So when I went there and with a lot of enthusiasm, I said let me go and see, “Ramji ka darshan karne do.” I went inside. I was horrified to see the state in which Ram Lalla was, I was just in tears. I said, you know, it just hit me so hard that in a place like India, Ram Lalla was in such a worst condition? There wasn’t a decent temple for Lord Ram. So I was in tears and it just stayed with me. And then in the evening when I was in the temple for program, I told Lord Ram, “I am eagerly waiting for you to come out and have a huge temple of yours and which will be the pride of the entire nation and the day that happens I will come and sing for you.”
You said it 20 years ago?
I mean it was an emotional outburst. So I said that I will come and sing for you. And then rest is history that how the temple was built, invitations were personally given with Akshata and that was a very, very emotional moment that itself because especially in Maharashtrians, we give Akshata only to people who are very respected or very close to us to invite them for an auspicious ceremony. You don’t give it to, just anybody, and everybody. No, you give it to somebody who’s very, very close. So it’s that personal touch, which is meant for very special people. But whoever’s brainchild it was to give Akshata to about five crore people. It’s not a joke. But everybody did that with such enthusiasm and that is what brought people together. Anyway, the invitation was given and the RSS people came. They invited us and gave us the invitation. And then I generally asked them, so they were saying, “Pran Pratishtha will take place. PM Modi will come and invitation has been send to people from all walks of life.” There was no mention of any program or anything like that. And I have promised Ram Lalla that whenever Sthapana takes place I will sing for Lord Ram. But Government has arranged the program. Government and RSS have their own protocols. They have their own agenda. So I told Ram Lalla, my promise stands and let me keep my promises is in your hands and you’ll not believe Bharathi, this is when I was praying in the morning, in the afternoon I got a, a call from Gauri from Times. She said Mr. Yatindra wants to contact you; shall I give him your telephone number? I said, of course. And then he called me in the evening immediately, he said, “I’m the son of the king of Ayodhya and I want you to sing for 5 minutes during Pran Pratishtha.” I was in tears. I just burst into tears and even replying him with “Of course, I will sing” was so difficult because it was something that was only between me and Lord Ram. And because I’m a singer, so whoever knew that I was going to Ayodhya was asking me whether I had a program there. I said, “I will tell you everything once I return.” But this was the last thing. I was not even aware that there is still a king in Ayodhya. I didn’t know how to react.
I’ve started working on the works of Shankaracharya. Yes, I started recording Shankaracharya’s stutiya like “Soundarya Lahiri”, “Mahishasura Mardini stotram”, “Bhaja Govindam” etc. So I said, since its Ram Lalla’s temple inauguration, then why not record something which Adi Shankaracharya has written on Ram and that was Ram Bhujang Stotram. Yes. And I had gone to Vedang Bharti where I had heard the disciples of Swamiji singing and it is such a beautiful composition. Very simple, but you know, it goes straight to the heart. I liked it so much and then I recorded it. Yatendra Bhai said me that they had contacted four people; one is Shankar Mahadevan, one is Asha ji, and one is Sonu Nigam and I. I asked him, did he have any idea what they would sing? Because in all probability, what I thought was they would sing “Shri Ram Chandra Krupalu Bhajaman” and “Mangal Bhawan Amangal Hari”, because that’s most popular. So I said, I don’t want my song to clash. So I told him that I had recorded something a few days ago. I sent that to him and told him to get back to me after listening to it. He heard and said sing this only “Ram Bhujang”. Especially it was written by Adi Shankaracharya, thus it has another level of significance. And then I was absolutely in tears and all the time. It gave me Goosebumps.
We went there and there was a huge orchestra there. Of course, they were playing and that was a unique idea, really. Yatendra Ji is also a great music person. He knows a lot about music and takes a very keen interest in everything. He’s a real artist. He called out one special instrument from each state, which was beauty of ceremony. We four were going to sing and I guess Malini Awasthi was there. Everything else was instrumental. Then very, very close to the Muhurat, Kavita (Anuradha’s Daughter) and I sang that. It’s more than a dream. It’s a very different feeling when something which you have not even mentioned to a third person, nobody, I’ve never mentioned it. It was just between Ram Lalla and me. When my outburst happened, I told Ram Lalla and then I couldn’t go and tell them keep my program that day. Telling anyone else was impractical. So I said Lord Ram, my promise stands, how much to respect it is up to you. And I get a call from a person. I just told him, “I’m going to be indebted to you for my entire life.” It was one of those moments when you feel I came to this world only for this moment.
Everything that you have been doing has been building up, building up to this.
This was my part of the story but even a simple mason who was working there had his little contribution. Each and every person contributed his minor part for Ram Temple. It was like 500 years, Ram Lalla was waiting all of us to come together.
Another beautiful thing that I saw that day, what I felt that day was, some people are devotees of Lord Krishna; some are devotees of Lord Shiva or Lord Ganesh; some follows Goddess Mata but ultimate is Lord Ram. He was even above religion. He was more of a cultural ambassador, a Yugpurush who brings people together. You worship anybody, but he’s the one. That feeling that came, and from that moment everyone, whether it was a sanyasi, whether it was Amitabh Bachchan, it was Madhuri Dixit, it was Virat Kohli, all those celebrities who were present, started crying when Ram Lalla’s face showed on screen. We were actually choked with emotion. I feel everybody went into oblivion. Nobody was a celebrity there. There was only one Ram Lalla. No one is beyond Lord Ram.
Atmosphere was electrifying and spiritually uplifting, culturally uplifting, and trillions will agree with me, I felt that something that was a little incomplete in us had been completed.
We have read or heard many times; say proudly that we are Hindus. Right? Whenever we used to go anywhere, we used to think for fraction of a second, whether we should say it or not. But now it feels like “Why Not? Hume Hindu Hone Ka Garv Hai”, that kind of a thing. You don’t hesitate and I don’t think ki there is a single temple in the entire universe for which people are waiting so much and live telecast is happening. You know, so that was the kind of aura that he commanded, and it was just absolutely phenomenal. Another thing that was really, really commendable was management. Management, administration of that place was world class. It was absolutely world class.
Considering how many people came, there was no chaos. You were invited and you went properly, there was no chaos, you knew where to go, how to go, everything.
No chaos, not at all, very well managed. I asked Ajay from RSS to give me address so that I could tell my driver to drop me there. So he said when you would leave from Lucknow, gave me a call. I said that is too close. And then I asked him about six, seven times that ‘give me the address’. But he kept saying “no, no, your arrangements have been made. If you leave from there, let me know. I’ll let you know.” Then other people were asking, Mummy, where are we going? Where are we going? I said, don’t ask now. I said, the one who called wants us to keep close to him. You won’t believe it; these people gave us a room in the Aashram, the one which is closest to the temple. People would say it was coincidence but it was not.
From what I remember, you were so popular as a playback singer, like other people have done devotional music like Lata Ji and all. But you, at the peak of your popularity as a playback singer, at that time you had started making devotional albums.
The reason was, I had just started singing with Rafi sir, Kishoda da. There used to be duet with Rafi Sahab, Mukesh Ji. Each and every artist has to go through this phase because its age and we are humans. There are hormonal changes and the first thing that makes a difference is the voice or whatever. But it doesn’t mean that you forget the trillions of songs that somebody has sung. I happened to hear that about a very, very established singer. I was leaving after singing the duet from Mehboob studio. So few people were standing outside, who had zero knowledge about music, because whoever has it, would never talks like that. I was very young, and that time it just hit me.
How can they make such a comment on such a senior singer?
Yeah and what about those many songs they have sung what about it? And at that time, I made up my mind that God when you take me to No. 1, I will take your name after that.
Really? So that’s how your devotional albums came about?
Yes. So after that, it kept going on and on. Then I happened to go to Dakshineshwar and it was about 12 years. And Hero was a very, very big hit naturally. Before that, I never really thought that I should get many songs. Because I come from a academically sound family. My father was never, he said, “why do you want to sing? You should become a good doctor and all. Achhe ghar ki ladkiyaan gati nahi hai.”
You were Alka Nadkarni, right?
Yes. And my father was not very keen. In fact he was sad. He said that film industry is not the place for you. But it happened, one after one song. When Hero’s song became a hit that was the only time I think in my life that I should get more good songs.
That was iconic, “ Tu mera hero”.
And that was the only time and after that started the era of all multi star cast films. In that films there were four, five, six singers, each with half a line or one line. That’s how it went. Then we approached, Polydor, Music India as I wanted to do an album. So, I said, I would like to do something in devotional. They said, no, no. We know that you don’t have a market for devotional. So, you should do a Geet. But like you can’t really place it in any category. At that time I happened to go to Dakshineshwar temple. And I was sitting there and. Pujari asked me to sing a Mata Ka Bhajan and it just hit me that 12 years I’ve been singing. Mata (Goddess) has given me so much of success. But I didn’t have a single song for Mata. I said, “I am so sorry”. What have I done? It didn’t even occur to me. I said, “Maa mujhe jitne mandir hain, unn sab ke saath jod de. Mujhe aaj ashirvad dena. Jitne mandir hai, unn sab pe mein gaaun”
I don’t want to leave the industry when you know you are singing a line or half a line. I wanted to be number one. I will consecrate to you and I will shift to Devotional. So then when Aashiqui and all that started happening. I think about 18 months or so, there were about 10 films and all 10 songs of those movies werehit. And whatever I did, it was a hit, like “Shiv Aaradhana” it was a hit; “Mamata ka Mandir”, it was a hit; “Manache Shlok”, it was a hit; “Ram Bhajan”, it was a hit. Ghazal, “Aashiyan” with Pankaj ji, it was a hit. Whatever I did, it was a hit. And at that time, when I was at the peak, then I said, okay, thank you very much. Now I am happy.
And you started doing devotional music?
Yes, I started doing. But after that, devotional as in entire Bhagavad Gita, SaptaShati in three languages, Marathi, Hindi, Sanskrit, Gujarati, etc.
Did Gulshanji encourage you in this? Because you, T Series, Gulshanji, you were the people who gave devotional music, that kind of platform.
Encourage, he was always encouraging for anything because he had that knack to understand that this is happening correctly.
Because he was also a commercial man. He understood devotional music market.
He was commercial but he had to be.When I entered T series, I did SaptaShati and right after that Manachesh Shlok, that was an instant hit.
Did they allow you to do it in T-series?
I entered T-series with Durga Saptashati. And then this “Tulsi Bhajans”, “Krishna Bhajans” all those were devotional as there was no concept like this. And then SaptaShati, I had done with Babuji. That’s Gulshanji’s father. First 4/5 albums I did with him. Then Gulshanji came on the scene. Then they decided to make, because they had just entered the industry. So they decided to make a film. And it was called “Mamta Ka Mandir”. Now the world knows his love for Mata Vaishno Devi. So for him, Mamta Ka Mandir was like Mata. Mother is Mata. So he approached Ms. Directors that he wanted to do this and that. So they said, we will give you such a super hit song, we will shake the world. And he said I want to listen. He said, no, no, you come and listen here. It will be fun. Unfortunately, or fortunately, that was a time of double meaning songs. When he went there during 89. The song was, “Main raat bhar soyi, mere pair dabate rahi teri maa; Main raat bhar soyi, pankha deti rahi teri maa.” He said, what is this?
I mean, the music writer, according to him, he was fine. He had to give the hit song. And it was going on. He went there keeping Vishno Devi Maa into his mind. He was very upset. And we had all reached the auspicious time. He was like furious, “ what is this?”
For one song, one can’t waste so much of money. Selling Cassette was the main thing. That machine gave output of 1 lakh cassette per day. So they had to sell it. And for that they had to put songs in it. He said that he had blessing of Maa Vaishno Devi, whatever they put into those cassettes, it got sold. So I said, this is a good thing, because at that time they were doing a lot of versions. So I said, “if by the grace of Vaishno Maa, whatever you do sells, then put something good in it. It has to sell, you can take a chance, you can take a risk, give it a shot.” He asked, what do you mean by good? I said put some new songs to it. So, I said, if you trust me, with a budget of about one lakh rupees, give me a chance, let me work upon an album. We will put new songs in versions with same mood, same character. He asked who would do it? I said, if you trust me like one lakh rupees is not that huge amount that you can’t trust me with. So he told Sushilji, let her do it. I went to Anand again. I said, we have to do this. So he asked, “What is the situation? Who is the heroine?” I said that there is no hero-heroine. The situation is same that has been going on for 40 to 50 years, same sad song. That is how “Laal Dupatta” got made.
Yes, because I remember that was the first album made without a film.
And why they made film after that? It became an instant hit. He said, no, now this song should be played in “Chhaya Geet”. Now, in Chhaya Geet, until the film registration is done, you can’t play your song there. He took a team, a boy and a girl, and made songs and filmed them. He said, no, until you don’t have a certificate of a film, Chhaya Geet won’t play it. He said what’s so difficult? We had song’s footage of 60 minutes. So he said put something in mid and make a story. Make something so that it would get consider as a film. And this is how that film was made.
That was the first time that songs were made, and a film was made because of the songs.
Yeah and I remember, asking me, “What is this? Is it song or film or what? Whatever it is, it’s nice.” So he (Gulshan Kumar) was very encouraging. Like if I had any good idea, he really went out of his way to support me. Whether it was music directors or else. And I said, Gulshan Ji I will turn to devotionals, he was horrified. He said, “I have worked like nothing, took effort to promote it.” But that is what I said that after getting on number 1 position, I will dedicate myself to devotional.
But as luck would have it. His devotional songs suddenly picked up as in North India there were devotional… And they had VCD. Thus it got picturised. So everything supported it. It was a tailor made.
I think he was also a Shiva bhakta (Devotee of Lord Shiva)?
Great Shiva bhakta.
And in Vaishno Devi, he started Prasad thing in 70s, 80s. When he died, before that he went to Shiva Mandir, right?
Yeah, that was also a huge, huge thing.
You married also to a musician?
Yes, Arunji (Arun Paudwal)
Of course I knew him. He was such a good musician. He had made so many nice compositions.
But before that, all the Marathi films that he scored music for, under the name of Anil Arun. They were all silver jubilee or golden jubilee hits. Ashtavinayak is also a hit. Still, in gallis people play those songs. Festival is incomplete without that. So, he was a very successful Musician, Music Director, Arranger, he was all along with Bappi Da and S. D. Burman.
There is an Arun Paudwal Chowk also here. Yes, on the 16th road, which is so important because, you know, he was such a good musician. So you actually had music from all sides, even if your father didn’t want you to become a singer. You married a musician.
Yes, Arunji was there, but my greatest inspiration was my father in law. He just kept dreaming that my daughter-in-law would be a singer, which is so rare.
You know, at that time, when the song from Hero, “Tu Mera Jaanu Hai”, it was so popular and you used to sing it everywhere. How many times I’ve heard you sing it live. At that time, I remember people used to say, such a pretty face, she should be in front of the camera. What is she doing in the recording rooms?
But we were not basically attuned to thinking like that, you know. Whenever they used to say we want to shoot in TCS. I was like please don’t do this, I don’t have habit of all these. So even after so many years, people ask for a selfie and photograph, I keep shying away because family ethics and all. Today everybody wants to be in the camera. Look at this one (pet dog). Come camera, he has to be here. Otherwise, he’s not with me.
Doggie is here because of the camera.
Absolutely, he just looks at the camera. He’ll come and sit silently. He loves music. When I go to the studio, throughout the song, he will sit and listen to it. So today’s generation, everybody wants a selfie, everybody wants a photograph.
You know, you had such a big part to play in the success in the making of T series when it started. So now when a film is made on Gulshanji, what role should you have in it? I mean, how should you be portrayed in it as his inspiration as a very integral part of T series?
One thing I would like to tell you is, it was like a hand and glove combination. You know, whatever I put forward, it is important to take it further in front of the entire world. So it was both ways. I won’t say that I have contributed this much. And then it is up to them to realize what part I have played. In any case, I’m the last person and I really don’t think much about all this. Because the world is going on like this, especially thanks to social media. Anyone can show anything to anyone. But still it depends a lot on the people who are making the film. How much they acknowledge, it depends on that. And actually, you know, it really doesn’t make a difference to me.
I had two experiences with you. Once I had written something which you didn’t like, in “Star and Style”. I had written something which you didn’t like many years ago. So you came to my house in the morning and you fired me. How could you write that? Second time was Telegraph Calcutta. I wrote something which you didn’t like. You immediately sent me a WhatsApp message and said you didn’t like it and I didn’t expect it from you. It was not good. You shouldn’t have written this. So I appreciated that actually. And I feel that, you know when a person reacts immediately and straightforwardly, that is so much better than feeling bad from inside. So are you always this kind of person, “you say what you want to say”?
Yes. Because let me tell you one thing, even if I, if somebody has to give me 10 crores also, I can’t just flatter a person. I can’t do that. I can’t tolerate if someone writes something wrong. People ask me how many songs have you sung and my answer is as many as you remember. Because it’s number, what will we do?
That’s a nice way of putting it. Your life has been very unreal for me when I go through it. Because you have seen great success, which I have also witnessed with you, in 1983 onwards. I mean, we saw Hero, we saw you right at the peak as a playback singer. I’ve seen these huge reserves of devotion coming from you, these devotional albums, which also were a super hit. But from 1991 I also saw a lot of pathos in your life. Because you were barely 37 when you lost your husband. And he died suddenly.
He was ill. He had suffered three massive heart attacks in a day and after that, he passed away after about a year or so. So he didn’t pass suddenly. It was sudden for all of you because you didn’t know. But he was very ill.
But you were kind of prepared for it?
Well, he was in a condition where I knew. My children were very young and my mother in law was about 87 years old. She passed away at the age of over 93, 94. But she was a great pillar of strength to me.
But how did you manage as a single woman? Because you were single and you had small children.
Yes, of course. God was very kind in a way that he never made me beg for anything in front of anyone. And that was the greatest strength. Both my children were musically inclined, so they were always with me. I made sure that I took them with me for programs and all. So as a family, we were always together. I just told myself that I have to keep walking no matter what. It’s only when I keep walking with a straight face that my children are going to have the confidence to walk in life.
And then after that, within six years or something in 1997, you lost Gulshanji, who was another big pillar of support for you. I mean, professionally, he had a lot to do with your career. So that was, that must have been another shock isn’t it?
It was. It was a big setback for the reason that I had put everything into T Series. Because whether it was films or it was devotional or whatever it was, you know, like I had just cut off myself. And one reason for me cutting off myself from the entire industry was I was concentrating upon my own family. I couldn’t be leaving the children just like that and then recording at one place, program at another, it wouldn’t work.
T-series was your territory.
Yeah, that was my comfort level. I didn’t have to do anything. I just go and sing.
But you were a director there, no?
No, I was never a director. I was never a director. I was only a singer. And who would be so lucky to get everything laid out for you. And I got one after another hit there. Many people make movies, music but to get such a hit song, it does not just depend upon money. To be appreciated by people is …yeah that was a big turning point. But I remember one incident, you know, when this happened, I didn’t know what to do. That came suddenly. What to do? Because till that time I hadn’t performed in any programs. I was heavily into recordings. Even Gulshan ji felt that I should not do programs because you don’t know what kind of mic they use for programs and vocal chords get affected due to that. So, he used to be very particular, that you concentrate upon music I mean recordings.
Someone keeps doing programs, people have confidence but I didn’t have experience. But I always looked at T Series. I told Vaishnodevi, I said, look, T Series for me is Vaishnodevi company. I’ll never forget that. So you look after me. I started with Babuji, Gulshanji came in later on. But for me, constant factor was Vaishnodevi. So you please give me a direction. You have to show me whether what I’ve done is right or wrong, whether you are with me or not. That was the time in 1997 December. I’ve got the cultural ambassador to devotion music. I got felicitated by the United Nations of America. So that was again a huge like a boost. And every time that I have faced some difficulty in life, God has been superlatively kind, that “Don’t think that you are alone. I am there with you.” Something out of the world happens. Not like a normal award, something unexpected. I never thought about it.
Then of course, Mane ji joined me and he used to work in Shree Sound. So he said let me be with you for your work. I said, “Look I don’t do this much work”. He said that he would bring work and we would start programs. After that I started doing programs. I’m still doing. Mane ji was a great, great source of, inspiration for me.
One more thing on Gulshan ji, when he passed away, it was very tragic assassination. It was cruel. And I think he paid the price for just wearing his devotion on his sleeve. He would have been very happy in today’s mahol. And I always felt he paid the price for being so devoted.
I won’t say devotion. I don’t think that was the cause. Probably people wanted something else out of him, business or whatever.
But were you happy with the way the court thing has gone because you were one of the witnesses?
Bharti, I don’t want to say that, not given it a thought or whatever. But then I have seen too much of life where people twist and turn things to their side to suit themselves. So what is there for me to say?
So you’ve seen that in the court of law also?
No, no, I’ve seen it a lot. I mean, I’ve seen it all over the world. Why the court of law? Well, if you go to see it, the whole world is a court. And all the things, people break it like for example, we see reels, we see it on YouTube, we see it on social media. They just write and talk anything at the cost of people’s families and family life, unscrupulous. What we feel bad is for the person who has gone. The person has gone but reason is depends on so many things and not just truth and falsity.
The one thing which I hesitate to ask you about, but I will have to, is about your son. Because I think what you went through, you know, some people lose husbands, people lose partners. You lose your son must have been absolutely shattering, even though he was 35.
But I think looking back on life, as you said, it has been an Unreal. I don’t even know what, how to describe it. But my entire life, there has been pattern to it. I really feel that my life is only about learning non attachment. Because I’m always been spiritually inclined and too much we get attached to a certain thing and that is the reason we keep taking births. But eventually at some point of time we have to go towards Moksh (Spiritual emancipation). Everybody has to go, you believe it or not. If you believe your journey will end soon and if you don’t, it will take some more births. This is the only difference.
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