“They Slut-Shamed, They Body-Shamed, They Called Names…” – Raveena Tandon’s Most Revealing Interview

In An Exclusive And Unfiltered Interview With The Timeless Superstar, Raveena Tandon Delves Into Her Most Personal And Intimate Memories. Not Holding Back, She Shines A Light On The 90s Women Editors Who, In The Name Of Feminism, Often Presented A One-Sided Narrative And Resorted To Giving Actors Demeaning Pet Names. This Engaging And Revealing Conversation Took Place With The Senior Most Journalist Bharathi S Pradhan, Offering A Rare Glimpse Into Raveena's Past And Her Perspective On The Industry's Dynamics During Her Era.

Did you always have in your mind that I would grow up and become a part of this industry?

You’ve known me since I was just a little girl. I don’t think films were ever on my mind. I never grew up thinking, “I want to be an actor,” and my parents never thought or said, “She will grow up to be an actor.” My brother was always very keen on getting into the movies, but unfortunately, things didn’t work out for him as he had hoped. So it was very unexpected when people started calling my dad and telling him that they wanted to sign Raveena, and I started getting ad film offers. I began working with Prahlad, and from there on, I started receiving a lot of film offers. In fact, there was a time when Mahesh Ji had just launched Pooja, and many people would ask my dad, “Why don’t you launch Raveena?” He would look at me and say, “But I don’t think she wants to become an actress.” In fact, I turned down a lot of movie offers before that. Then, finally, I started thinking, “Maybe this is my destiny,” because people struggle so hard to break into this industry, and here it all was coming to me, no matter how many times I said no to it. It felt like destiny, and it was crazy. Even for “Patthar Ke Phool,” Vivek Vaswani didn’t know who I was when he approached me. I was having pizza with my friends, and he said, “You know, my director thinks you are perfect for his character. Can we know your name?” I looked at him and said, “You don’t recognize me?” He said no, and I replied, “I am Rajeev Tandon’s sister.” So, Vivek knew my brother, and he exclaimed, “Oh my god, you are Ravi Ji’s daughter!” I confirmed that I was, and that’s how they approached me. Then Sippy Sahab approached me, and around the same time, Bunty, a friend of mine and a co-model who was shooting an ad with me, called Salman and told him, “You have to meet this girl, Raveena. I think she is the next big thing, and you are looking for a new girl.” So Salman came to see my work separately. It all felt like destiny because there was no way I could have known that I would already turn down five films before “Patthar Ke Phool.”

You don’t want to tell me which films?

I’ll tell you. I said no to “Jungle,” I had said no to “Heer Ranjha,” and I also said no to a film with Lucky Ali, I think it was “Bony” or something, I’m not sure. And then I said no to two more films, Pahlaj Ji’s film, Pahlaj Ji still tells me, “Main pehle aaya tha tere pass, poor Pahlaj Ji.” And I said no to “Prem Qaidi.” I have actually said no to “Phool Aur Kaante” as well. So these were the five or six films I said no to. All these films were offered to me because I didn’t know whether I wanted to do movies or not.

So why did your dad launch your brother but not you?

Because I never wanted to do movies; that was never my aim.

I’m just curious because your dad wasn’t the kind to differentiate?

Exactly, exactly at all. He was the one who taught me to ride a bike, drive my jeep, change a tire, and do everything. He never, ever differentiated between us. But I was never interested. So when I started realizing that this is destiny, that this is meant for me, even Prahlad Kakkar, who I was working with, would say, “Listen, you are meant to be in front of the camera, not behind it.” So I just felt like it was meant to be.”

So when you did sign a film, was there anything your dad told you?

You see, Papa was always there to advise me on what is right and what is wrong. Nonetheless, I wouldn’t have liked him to launch me because I do feel Jo bhi bacha karta hai, maa-baap ko woh acha lagta hai. Par kya kabhi socha hai ki ek heeri ka asli chamak tab pata chalta hai jab use chamkaya jata hai, use polish kiya jata hai, aur koi bahar wala usse khareedta hai, so, it’s literally about how much value you bring, because a producer invests a certain amount of money, time, and their entire production team’s efforts and emotions into a project. That’s very important to me.

So, it was essential for me to stand on my own feet, and he was always there to guide me on what is right and what is wrong. But ultimately, many decisions were mine. I was always pretty headstrong, and in fact, there were times when I didn’t listen to him, which I wish I had. But then, that’s the way it is.

You became this girl with the fantastic record who became a star overnight, and you always had the best of songs, right from your first film ‘Kabhi Linking Road, Kabhi Carter Road,’ right from there to, you know, ‘Tip Tip Barsa Pani,’ and of course, ‘Sheher Ki Ladki,’ and all of them. So many, all those songs in ‘Mohra,’ ‘Tu Cheez Badi Hai Mast Mast.’

And even now, for example, Alia’s song ‘Kar Gayi Chull,’ matak matak, jaise Raveena Tandon. Then Arpan Bawa has come up with a new song, ‘Raveena Tandon, Ban Than Ke The Chale Aaye.’ So all these things, you know, I think it’s great, and it’s really the love of everyone that has kept me alive all through these years. Because I feel songs are something that go on and on forever. People might forget your great performance, but songs will always be remembered. So, I think my papa was very lucky with his music, and I think even I have been pretty lucky as far as getting great songs.

So when you see one of your iconic songs like a chartbuster, like “Tip Tip Barsa Pani,” in a film like “Sooryavanshi,” do you cringe?

No, I don’t cringe. I think it’s great because, you see, I do believe, to a certain extent, one should be supporting a film and say, “Okay, fine, these remixes are great.” Yeah, bad remixes are there; it could have been better, but they tried. Nobody wants to intentionally make something that is bad, right? It can just happen; people might not just like it. Nobody intentionally does that. So I think it is fantastic because the song is being listened to by a newer generation with a newer beat. It gets a newer life, and it’s a win-win situation because, ultimately, I own those songs all over again. It’s like a shot in the arm.

Tell me, when you were doing all these films, and all those were Govinda films, etc., did you ever feel that “chal rahe hai, chal rahi hai,” but you were a very glamorous girl who did lots of songs and dancing, yet you were not taken seriously as an actress for a long time until films like “Daman”?

But that is so true, of course. It is true. I think you have put the finger on it, absolutely. Because what happens, especially in the ’90s era, there were very few films being made which were very which gave equal opportunity to female actors or they were centrally, you know, orthoback for  them. So, for me, it was a struggle to get out of that mould of only superhit songs and “she is too glamorous and too beautiful, ke I don’t think she can perform anything else besides being a glamorous person,” so that is the image.

It was quite a battle for me to sign a film like “Shool” because Ram Gopal Varma clearly told me, “Every time I shut my eyes, I can only see you do ‘kahi disco mein jaye’ and ‘ankhiyon se goli mare,’ I cannot see you in another image.” And then, that’s the breakthrough that I got in “Shool,” where I played the role of Manjali Bhabhi, who is a Bihari housewife, and that gave me this scope to break through the mould that was forming. It was very easy to get stereotyped those days. So, you know what I think? We, you know, girls, we the actresses got to do in the ’90s what we got to do probably in the 20th film or 22nd film or 25th film. It’s what the youngster today are doing in their fifth or sixth film, just like breaking the mould and jumping to great performances, which is fantastic, I think.

So, is that something you are looking for, Rasha? Because I am so surprised that she is already making her debut.

Well, as far as she is concerned, like I said, everyone has to carve their own niche. Everyone has to, you know, create a mold for themselves, and I think she will go ahead and do probably the way she wants to. But, again, like my dad was to me, I will always tell her what’s right and wrong.

Whether she listens to you or not?

So, luckily, she is not as gullible or naive as I was, but I think she’ll do everything well.

Will you always be the kind of person you are? Because we have never seen you as just a pretty face. You may have been a pretty face on screen, but as a person, I have always thought of you as somebody who has both sensuality and substance.

Wow, that’s a great combination, actually, the two ‘S’s. I think that is fantastic. Well, I have always said that you don’t have to be overly sexual to prove your sensuality. Sensuality can come through even if you are completely covered, probably with a full blanket. It is what you emote that matters. As far as substance is concerned, I’ll take it as a compliment.

A women are always in control of the situation, I would think. Because Even when your dad passed us here, I found that you were the woman who was very much in control of everything. You may have been reeling inside, but you are so much in control. You have always been in control of your life, of every situation. That’s all I have always seen with you.

I think at moments like that you have to be strong for everyone around you as well, and I do try to make sense of every chaotic madness that I am surrounded with at times. I try to reason things always, but that is the thing; I see a positive in everything, even probably negative. I think I may have learned the art of turning negative situations into positives.

Even the relationships that went wrong?

Totally, of course. I think there is a positive in everything. Today, when people ask me if I would like to go back to my younger self and say to myself to change anything in my life the way it would be, I say that I believe, and I say that even now, I believe life, everyone’s life, has a certain degree, has a certain path that destiny has to follow. There are, yes, repercussions, and there are situations arising from every action you take, but ultimately, it leads you to where you are.

So today, at the point I am in my life, I couldn’t have asked for more. I couldn’t have been more content. So if I think that I would have to go back and change anything, make ‘B’ into ‘C,’ ‘C’ into ‘D,’ and ‘D’ into ‘Z,’ I wouldn’t be here sitting around. Probably, I think there is a parallel life. I wouldn’t have reached this point. That was the path that my destiny had to follow and bring me here. That is where it has brought me, so I wouldn’t change it for anything.

You and Karisma Kapoor were totally competitive and did the same kind of films, the same kind of dancing, and the same kind of Govinda films.

I have always believed in healthy competition, and I have never been a cutthroat person. To this day, no one in this industry can probably say, ‘Raveena got me removed from this project’ or ‘Raveena refused to work with a newcomer or a new director.’ I always remind people that I was once a newcomer myself, and if others hadn’t given me a chance, I wouldn’t be where I am today. So, everyone deserves that opportunity. I have never engaged in such political maneuvering or groupism, although it has been done to me blatantly. I have lost many films I was supposed to do, like ‘Saajan Chale Sasural,’ which I was supposed to do with David and Chichi (Govinda). I had also signed ‘Vijaypath,’ among two or three other instances of such politics.

Chintu ji (Rishi Kapoor) showed me his wedding picture where you were a little girl standing at his wedding.

I was sulking because I had the biggest crush on him. When he used to go abroad, he used to get me a doll. I was sulking throughout his wedding. The best thing is that he got married to Neetu ji, and I love them as a couple, and I adore both of them.

You have known Ajay Devgn since your college days?

Actually, not really. Yes, we did go to the same college, and our parents worked together. His sister and I were in the same class together, but Ajay was with Bobby. He was senior to me, so I really didn’t know him. However, his sister and I knew each other, and now Rasha and his sister’s son are working together.

When it comes to films like ‘Daman’ and getting a national award for ‘Daman,’ and you have received the Padma Shri this year in 2023, and you have also been named as one of the women’s groups, W20, which is an offshoot of G20, what exactly does that mean?

Well, W20 is the women’s wing umbrella of G20, dealing with women’s empowerment, women’s safety, and women’s security. It was a part of discussions and part of policy-making on how to turn women’s forefront thoughts into action.

You are supposed to be a favourite of the Modi government, is that so?

Oh, you are telling me, thank you. Who says that? Well, there were so many awards I had won during the Congress government; I think they should count as well.

Does politics not interest you?

No, it does not. I have been offered seats. I have great friends in the Congress party. They offered me Chichi’s seat from Virar and Thane, but unfortunately, I am not ready for politics.

You seem to be an animal lover.

I have always worked for three things: the girl child, animals, and women’s empowerment. In this world today, they are the most abused species. Wherever there is war, they are the worst hit, especially children and women. This past year has statistically been the worst year in decades for violence against women and children. Yes, when there is a climate crisis or war, it worries me. These things concern me as a responsible citizen.

You also adopted two girls even before you were married? How supportive were your parents?

I was 21, which is the legal age, and that’s when I took them in. It is a lifetime commitment; there is love and there are emotions. Definitely, there is a bond that we all share; they are the older siblings to my younger ones.

One of your daughters had a church wedding. Are you okay with interfaith marriages?

Of course, why not? We are human beings at the end of it. Actually, my mom said we have got everybody; we all are interfaith. In fact, it was such a beautiful interfaith wedding to come to. We did a chuda ceremony; she wore her chuda on her gown. I gave her away; I walked her down, and then the mangalsutra was tied after vows were taken, and sindoor was applied in the church. It was the absolute correct mix of how it should be. I take pride in that and I take pride that our country allows this kind of freedom.

How was Anil when you met, and he knew that you had two children?

He already knew about it; he always thought it was fantastic. Throughout our early marriage, he was advising the girls about the bank, just calling them directly when they started working.”

You had a very romantic meeting; you met on Valentine’s Day.

So clichéd. He was out with his friends for a singles night, and I was out with my friends and it just struck me. I asked Manish Malhotra, ‘Who is the guy sitting out there?’ Manish said, ‘How do you not know him? You are in the same industry.’ He had distributed ‘Patthar Ke Phool,’ can you imagine? He did my first film, and he said, ‘I saw you at the premiere.’ I was there at the premiere. How did I never meet you?’ I said, ‘You wasted time.’

After that, everything just moved very quickly?

No, actually, not then. We eventually met 2 years later. At that time, I actually saw him, but nothing really happened. I asked Manish, ‘Who is he?’ He said he is dating someone in London. So, he was dating someone; he was already divorced, and I was out of a broken relationship. He was already dating someone, and then we met 2 years after that. That too, we met for another film, ‘Stumped,’ and that’s when we started talking. Then it was a complete fast forward, two months of dating, and then we got engaged. Actually, I met him on the 4th of August 2003.

You mentioned that Anil had a divorce behind him, and you had a broken relationship behind you, which everybody knows was with Akshay Kumar. Did both of you sit and talk about your respective pasts?

Not really, we discussed anything we both knew about each other by then, so there was never ‘you tell me, no, you tell me.’ Anil is a man of very few words; he prefers not to discuss things, probably very personal to him and his past. He didn’t want to pry, and neither did I. We never had that ‘you tell me what happened, no, you tell me.’ We don’t discuss with each other; we are very confident with each other, how do I say it, the faith and the trust we share.

You once mentioned that you broke up with the person to whom you were engaged because fidelity matters a lot to you. Is fidelity continuing to be a deal-breaker?

Every relationship, according to me, is based on faith, love, honesty, and trust. So, these are important things in any relationship for me, whether it’s with a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, friends, or family. You have to be an honest person. If you are not an honest person, then I don’t think I would be friends with you, and I would not confide in you. Because if you are not an honest person, then definitely I am not going to confide in you; you’ll be telling the whole world. So, trust and faith are really important in any relationship, even with your children.

So, you do place a lot of importance on fidelity in your marriage, both for yourself and Anil?

No, no, I am not sitting and doing a ‘tandav’ on Anil’s head every morning. (laughs)

Everybody talks about your perfect life and perfect marriage. How difficult has it been, and how much has Anil contributed to this perfect marriage because you have such a beautiful understanding?

It is always between two people; it’s never one-sided. Marriage is always between two people. The love, the faith, the comfort, it is always there between two people. When I met Anil, we were almost brought up in the same house. We had the same set of morals, the same set of values. We both really respected the fact that honesty is something and communication is something we should always have between us, and that’s how we have brought up our children.

You mentioned that about your past relationship, you have not hidden it from your children.

My life is an open book for them. If not today, then tomorrow, they will read about it somewhere, and they might read something worse. You know how the 90s press was; I mean, yellow journalism was at its peak. So, they had no scruples, no morals, they had no integrity.

Tell me, is Rasha prepared for that?

Luckily, you have social media where you can put your case out in front of your fans right there. Your statement matters today. There are different mediums, different platforms where you can be one-on-one with your fans, your friends, whoever. Earlier, we were at the mercy of the editors, who’s camp they were in, whom they were buttering up, whose hero was buttering them. They would only write about them and their side of the story and not wait for what the truth was. So, if they thought to bring someone down, they would. We were just at their mercy, and even if they had to print an apology, it would be a minute line somewhere on the page that nobody would read, and they would say we did print an apology.

Somebody who was always very friendly with everybody in the media, everybody liked you in the media.

No, no, I had the worst articles written about me. You see, some of those women editors who play the feminist card and play the ‘I am so liberated’ card, the fact being that they slut-shame, they body-shame, they called you names. There were pet names given to everyone. The most scandalous the story, the worst they would write.

What were the pet names you had?

I was called so many things, Amazonian, Thunderthighs. It was cute though, TT and Miss Arrogant, and Miss High and Mighty.

How important is financial independence to you because I have known you as always the financially independent girl?

I think since I turned sixteen, I don’t think I have ever taken any money from my dad. The same goes for Anil; I can proudly say that I never asked for money. As far as investments are concerned, Dad took care of that earlier because I have been working all the time, so I didn’t want to bother myself. Later, Anil helped me with all my finances, to be honest. I am saying this not just for myself but also for all the girls out there; it is so, so important to be financially independent and to stand on your own feet. It’s something I believe in very strongly, and I advocate it strongly. Even for the people working for me, my staff and their children, I keep telling them to educate themselves and become independent. If tomorrow you or I are not there to take care of the situation, our kids should be able to go out into this world and handle themselves.

Is that something you want for Rasha and Ranbir?

Of course, she would be. Of course, both of them will be. And she is continuing her education alongside this, so today, if it works for her or doesn’t work for her, it’s her passion, it’s her love. But tomorrow, if something doesn’t work for her, she is independent enough to stand on her feet and probably get a job somewhere.

You have not done kissing scenes in your career?

No, I haven’t.

You know the net keeps saying this, ‘Kamal Hassan’s hot kiss with Raveena Tandon’ and somebody else’s hot kiss with Raveen Tandon. You had no kiss contract?

It’s clickbait. Yeah, I had no kissing scenes. Those days there were no contracts, but I had a no-kissing policy, and I never did, and I am not comfortable.

But today’s generation, everybody is doing it. Rasha would have different principles for herself.

Again, it depends on her. If she is comfortable doing a scene with someone, then why not? And if she is not comfortable, then nobody should have the power to force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.

So these little restrictions like ‘I won’t kiss’ were self-imposed?

Totally. I am not comfortable. I remember doing a scene; it was a little rough-handling kind of scene with a male actor. By mistake, his lips brushed against mine. It was a mistake; it was not even required in the script. So, in all that frenzy, it was a mistake, and I went to my room and threw up because I was so uncomfortable. The shot got over, and I went up and had nausea. I was never comfortable; I couldn’t bear it. Yuck! Oh, please brush your teeth, wash your mouth like that. If I am not comfortable doing something, I wouldn’t. He was doing a villains role. He was so apologetic and I said it was a mistake.

It’s so wonderful. On one hand, you have a daughter who is working in films, and on the other side, you are still working brilliantly. In KGF Your role, people loved you in that dignified Prime Minister.

Yeah, that really worked well. I enjoyed it. I was doing two different things. I was doing this and ‘Aranyak.’ When I would go to the KGF set, Prashant would say, ‘Mam, notch it up a little higher for performance,’ while when I got to the ‘Aranyak’ sets, Vinay would be like, ‘Just play it very real.’

It’s a north-south sensibility, I guess.

No, it’s not like that. It’s not like north or south. Each director has their own style because the director is the boss. In their entire mind They have the entire film and every actor’s performance playing out in front of their eyes. But I don’t know what level of drama they are building up. My dad always said that the director is the captain of the ship. You leave it completely to him; he is the boss, it’s his vision. You are doing his job as an actor. That advice I would give to young actors leave yourself in the hands of the director. 

Did playing a small role in KGF really help you make a comeback?

I don’t know about the comeback because I already did ‘Maatr’ in the middle. I was doing something; it was not a comeback. I was waiting for a good role. I think the days of comebacks are over. Nowadays, actors take their time to choose a role. They focus on quality instead of quantity. In the 80s and 90s, it was more about quantity, but now it’s about quality.

That really helped me. I mean, KGF 2, as in people recognized you. Listen, this is not just the ‘Mast Mast’ girl; she can act too.

I think I have broken out with ‘Daman,’ ‘Shool,’ ‘Gulam-E-Mustafa,’ and ‘Aks,’ I have broken that mold. That’s why these guys had the confidence that I would carry out the role like this. If they expected just ‘Mast Mast,’ they wouldn’t have offered me that role.

I think you are in a wonderful phase of your life, isn’t it?

I am enjoying this phase. Like I said, it is not about quantity it is about quality.

And you’ve signed other films as well?

Yes, I have signed a couple of films, and I am doing a web series for Hotstar. Of course, there is ‘Aranyak 2,’ which we will be shooting, and the series continues. There are a couple of films I have signed, one called ‘Patna Shukla,’ which is Arbaaz Khan’s production, and there is ‘Welcome,’ all my boys again, Sunil, Akshay, Sanju. I am dying to work with Chichi again.

Is he doing any films?

I have not really asked him, but I’m going to call him and say, ‘Long time, Chichi, everyone’s bouncing. Let’s do some good comedy together. That’ll be fun as well.’

Is there anything your dad guided you in, and in turn, you are guiding Rasha?

It’s all part of the process of upbringing. I think it’s not just one thing that you tell or say to your child. It’s everyday learning. Okay, today this happened, now you learn this way so that happens between us pretty often.

What tips would you give for a successful marriage?

I think that would be four short words: honesty, companionship, faith, trust, and above all, communication. Five key points.

Your mom is Sindhi, and Macmohan is your uncle, so you have always known this Sindhi and Punjabi way of life.

Yeah, actually, yeah, it is a mix, like I always said that my mom’s side is full of interfaith. I am exposed to every type of culture.

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